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This is the second part in the Shalom in the Home blog series (intro here). So what does a marriage that is centered on the Gospel look like?

Since a marriage is comprised of a man and a woman, I think it would benefit us greatly to define what a Gospel-centered man and Gospel-centered woman are. Let’s turn to Scripture first, then we’ll turn to some practical examples. Here we go:

Gospel-Centered Men

• Gospel-centered men lead the home in providing for his family [’keeping the garden’] (Genesis 2:15)
• Gospel-centered men lead the home in worship [’walking with God’] (Genesis 2)
• Gospel-centered men lead the home in protection. (Genesis 2:24)
• Gospel-centered men lead the home in romance. (Genesis 2:25)
• Gospel-centered men lead the home in self-sacrifice (Ephesians 5:25)
• Gospel-centered men repent of their constant pride. (Proverbs 5:21-23)
• Gospel-centered men persevere in their marriages, jobs, and ministries. (2 Timothy 2:2-7)
• Gospel-centered men are to care for their wives sexually (Proverbs 5:18-20)
• Gospel-centered men should create culture that they are willing to die for (Genesis 1:28)
• Gospel-centered men should be strong and let all we do be out of love (1 Corinthians 16:13-14)
• Gospel-centered men should love their wives graciously, sacrificially, and redemptively. (Ephesians 5:25-33)

Practical Advice for Men

That last point I want to focus on for a bit. What does it really mean to love your wife as Christ loved the church? It means that we love her graciously, that is, regardless of her performance and what she does for us. It means that we love her sacrificially, which means that we constantly lay down our desires and ourselves for her good. It means that we love her redemptively, which means that we love her in a way that cause her to transform into a more Christ-like woman.

A quote from Gary Ricucci:

The more we learn about the grace and love of God displayed in the gospel, the better we can demonstrate such grace and love to our wives. Husbands, we are called to sacrifice for the sake of our wives, and the Gospel of Jesus Christ is our example and motivation. And when we sin or fall short of what we are called to, we appeal for forgiveness to a God who loved us and gave Himself for us. The role of a husband doesn’t begin at the altar-it begins with the atonement….at the cross.

Gospel-Centered Women

• Gospel-centered women are equal helpmates to men. (Genesis 2:18)
• Gospel-centered women are to be of ‘noble character’. (Proverbs 12:4)
• Gospel-centered women are to be submissive. (Ephesians 5:22)
• Gospel-centered women are to be kindhearted (Proverbs 11:16)
• Gospel-centered women are homemakers (Proverbs 31:27-28)
• Gospel-centered women are to fear the Lord (Proverbs 31:30)

Practical Advice for Women

• Maintain a great relationship with Jesus.
• Encourage your man. He feels defeated more often than you think.
• Pray for your man. He needs it.
• Take care of your man sexually. He wants it.
• Keep your man priority above ministry and family.
• Lovingly submit to him as long as he submits to Christ.

What does this mean in marriage?

It means that a marriage between a man and a woman should be a shadow of the relationship between Christ and the church. Just as Christ has loved us, His Bride, transformationally, sacrificially, and regardless of our works, Gospel-centered men are to love their wives the same. And just as we, the Church, submit to Christ out of love for Him, seeking to do His will to work towards His glory and our joy, wives are to lovingly submit to their loving husbands, in order for joint joy to be obtained.

Not-yet-Christ followers should be able to look at our marriages and see something greater. They should look at the man and see a leader who imitates Jesus, and they should look at the woman and see someone who has been lovingly wooed by Jesus, who treats men who look like Him in the same way she treats Jesus, and who loves such men…particularly and especially her husband.

What do you think? Where do you line up?

I’m going to start a 5-part blog series on Gospel-centered families, aptly titled Shalom in the Home. Forget the rabbi. Shalom in the New Testament (usually translated as ‘peace’) is the, ahem, harmony, that comes from being submissive to Jesus, His Gospel, and His Kingdom. It is holistic in nature, and all-encompassing in reach. This means that our marriages, children, and legacies are to be harmonic as well. So what does that look like? To be honest, I’m still trying to find out. I have very little life experience. All I know is what Scripture teaches, and what the Spirit has given me in the vision for Greenville and Harmony Church. It’s all I got. It’s going to have to be enough. So starting very soon, I will try to address the following:

• Part 2: Shalom in the Home: Gospel-Centered Marriages
• Part 3: Shalom in the Home: Gospel-Centered Children
• Part 4: Shalom in the Home: Gospel-Centered Legacy
• Part 5: A Wrap-Up

They won’t be all-encompassing. They won’t bring up if-then statements like “If your children don’t listen, then do this…” It won’t be a very specific series. But it will provide us with a foundation to work towards. In this post, I do want to address the “why” question: why do we at Harmony focus so hard on the family?

Because it is the foundational unit of the Kingdom of God. It is the cell of the body of Christ. For those of you who haven’t been through our partnership material, you should know that at Harmony we don’t think you can be a Christian alone. God exists in community. He calls to Himself a people. He redeems individuals, only so that they may be a part of a community. And I vaguely remember something about Him saying that it is not good for man to be alone.

This is a passion of mine, and I hope it shows. I dearly want to see marriages, families, and legacies that erupt and emerge from people loving and pursuing Jesus.

Harmony, we are a young church. We can, as Barney Fife says, nip it in the bud, for the most part. If we get it set in our minds and hearts what God would have us do with our families, we can turn this city upside down.

I’m looking forward to it.

How about you?

Comments?

19 Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall!
20 My soul continually remembers it
and is bowed down within me.
21 But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”

25 The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
26 It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.

Jeremiah, in writing this, is lamenting the fall of the great city of Jerusalem, and the tribes of Israel. But the most important thing is that, even in the middle of his lament, he realizes the Gospel: that because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed. It is ok to grieve and mourn. We are affectionate, passionate people with emotions and feelings, because we are made in the image of God. But even in the midst of our most intimate and intense affections, we must keep the first things first: that Jesus is supreme, and worthy of rejoicing in.