The Fear of Failure
Posted in: Church PlantingI’m not afraid of failure. I’m afraid of failing and knowing that I could’ve done better. I’m currently reading Earl Creps‘ book, Off-Road Disciplines (which is excellent by the way, review coming soon), and he talks in the first chapter about his failures as a pastor in Maine. I think about his story, and I think about Mark Batterson’s story (failing in Chicago), and it makes me nervous. What if I’m making a mistake? What if I’m moving up to one of the most expensive places to live to plant a church and it completely tanks? This could easily set my family and I back for a good 10-20 years. But I’m not afraid of failure.
What scares me most and not doing something to the greatest of my ability. I refuse to be lazy and carefree. I refuse to err on the side of effort. Failure, or success, is ultimately up to God. Effort is up to me. If I fail because of God’s choosing or inexperience, just as in the case of Mark, Earl, and countless others, it could be for the better. But if I fail because of effort on my part, it could be for the worse. I’m constantly looking at what I need to be doing. I love Passion4Planting’s Converge system (link). It provides a working framework for someone (me) that isn’t really an administrator or planner. It is a tool that helps me monitor effort and funnel vision.
I love reading stories of people who have failed. It sounds sick, I know. But it’s encouraging to know that failure is not only possible, but in church planting, probable. But I refuse to fail on my effort. DC will be changed. I pray for it daily. But if God closes doors, it’s ok because there will be more that open. But I’m not going to stand at an open door and not walk through.
Glad to see some else feels this way too. Great post.
Thanks, Doug. Gotta be real. Anyone who doesn’t feel this way is probably lying to themselves.
Derek,
Thanks for your transparency on this subject! I’d rather fail while attempting to follow God than do nothing and be disobedient because of fear. Plus it’s in our failures that we can become successful.
Keep your eyes focused on Jesus!
James
Doug, In 2002 I walked away from the new church plant I had started three years prior. My denom’s funding assistance was running out and we could not support my salary. That, very contemporary, worshipping congregation became the contemporary service at an older and established church. We had the youth and energy, they had the stability and building. Today they are working to start a second site with the worship leader who was the worship leader at our start up.
It took me several years to finally get out of my own self-made pity party and realize that I was never called on my God to start a new church, I was called on to do the front end work of something that has the potential of being much more than I ever dreamed. What I took as failure, God saw as opportunity. Funny how that always seems to work.
Prayers abound for your work, it is the toughest work in ministry and carries the most potential rewards, personally, and Kingdom wise.
In Christ’s Love,
David
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